And the Winner Is...

Gentleness. The quality or state of being gentle, well-born, mild, benevolent, docile, etc; gentility; softness of manners, disposition, etc.; mildness.

So, why did I pick this word?

Well, to make a long story short, I have a horrendously awful temper. There's weeping and gnashing of teeth, hell-fire and brimstone, the works. To go along with such an awesomely desirable character trait </sarcasm font/> I spent my formative years in the northeast, where obscenities are an art-form.

I've worked very hard over the years to try to clean up my mouth, reign in the temper, and put away the boxing gloves. I fought the good fight, and thought I had really grown and conquered my demons. Little did I know, it was just like the enemy himself. He was laying in wait, making sure to pounce at my weakest moment and coming back worse than before.

Once my oldest child hit the magical age of 3, all metaphorical hell broke loose. With a threenaged drama queen and a newly mobile mischief-filled little fella, life got crazy, sleep got short, and patience was in short supply. So instead of falling back onto my faith or the tips and tricks that helped in the past, the past reared its giant, ugly, nasty, harsh, hateful head. And directed it at pretty much everyone nearby, particularly my kids.

My little Chickadee has been struggling lately at school. She's a brilliant child, and doing exceptional work in her class, but her behavior has been abysmal. The biggest problem is that she is expressing herself, well, just like I do. She's lashing out, pushing, hitting, kicking, the works. Recently, she horse-collared a classmate on the playground and it was not a pretty sight. Circulation was cut off, faces were turning blue, screams were curdling blood--not just typical kid stuff, but major issues here.

I realized that I speak so harshly, particularly to her, and that she probably doesn't hear me speak gently, lovingly, softly, or kindly very often. She is mimicking my behavior patterns, my speech patterns, and my impulsiveness. These are not things that I want for her. I want her to be a loving, gentle, sweet spirited child, not a harsh, bitter, grouchy and mean kid like I was. Like the adult I have become.

So I felt the need to focus on God's gentleness and humble spirit during this year. To focus on being gentle, and responding with gentleness, humility, meekness and love instead of rage and wrath. Gentle and Gentleness are all over the Bible. I've found a number of great versus to meditate on and infuse into my daily routine to try to keep me centered on God's truth.

Philippians 4:5 "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."

1 Corinthians 4:21 "Shall I come at you with a rod, or in love with a spirit of gentleness?"

Proverbs 15:4 "A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."

Colossians 3:12 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, hold and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

1 Timothy 6:11 "But you, man of God, flee from all this and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness."

1 Peter 3:15 "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."

James 3:13 "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by his good conduct that his deeds are done in gentleness of wisdom."