What if I Choose the WRONG One Word?

It is so difficult to select just one word which will serve as my year-long focus! Naming this focus feels akin to naming a child!

What if I pick the wrong thing and this year's events really grow me in a whole different area and take me in a whole different direction?

So what? What if? Does it really matter if my growth isn't the way I expect it? Does it matter if my word ends up meaning something different in the end? If the definition changes? If I meant it as the first-listed definition from the dictionary, but it ends up being the fourth?

Not at all.

In fact, I suspect regardless of my One Word and my vision of my year and growth process, it will not go according to my plan or desire. Rather, I pray that it will not. Because my way has been proven to be quite lousy! Especially when compared to God's way! His vision is so much greater, His wisdom perfect. And He knows where He wants me, when, how, and why. And He knows what is going to happen this year. He knows the events ahead of me, and He knows what tools I will need in order to handle the situation. He knows where He is taking me, and He knows what He wants to teach me before I get there. I just have to follow His lead.

Besides, I imagine if I pick the "wrong" word, God will let me know. First with His loving, gentle nudges. Then with giant arrows. And, when if necessary, with rude awakenings. Definitely rude awakenings. I'm a heavy sleeper. It can take a lot to get my attention.

I am so oddly excited and energized at the challenge of having one singular focus for an entire year. God has something tremendous in store for me. All I have to do is follow His lead. No matter where this path takes me, it will be transformative!

What are Your Honest Feelings and Thoughts About Your Ability to Change?

Wow. Huh. Honest? Hmm. Not sure where to even start!! I suppose of primary import is the mental/spiritual/emotional type of change, not the physical. So in that regard, OH have I changed!

I once was a scrooge. I was greedy and stingy. I saved my money--and conveniently left it at home when I went shopping. It was at my very core to keep that money (and the power and freedom that went along with it) close and safe. Not that saving, thriftiness and prudence are bad things! But when it prevents a generous spirit, when it becomes an idol, when it strips you down and prevents you from becoming reliant and faithful to God--then we have a problem.

And I did.

I was never "taught" to tithe. My parents practiced (and still do) immense generosity to both their children and extended families. But they did so discreetly. It wasn't until after I was married that I even learned that they regularly gave support to family members in need. They have worked hard, planned well, saved well. And some in our family have not been able to; the cards they were dealt, well, they weren't a royal flush. More like a royal flush down the toilet.

I wish I had known of my parents' generosity, love, and loyalty sooner. We didn't go to church, so there was no formal tithing to witness. I believe they used/still use their financial assistance to family as their own mechanism of tithing. They weren't giving to God, but they were helping widows and orphans as He commanded.

But, I didn't know. So when I became a believer, I had no clue how to be generous. It was against my very nature. I don't think I ever even wanted to become more generous. I certainly don't remember making a conscious decision to give more freely or trying to force that change. But somehow, somewhere along the way, God has changed my nature. He has taken my gut reactions, like saying no to all donation requests, keeping all of my income for myself, and spending as little as possible. And He has transformed them into a generous more generous spirit.

That's not to say there aren't still times when my old greed doesn't resurface.

Whew...more than a little off topic!!

I guess what this all says is that I didn't initiate the change. He did. The changes in my life which I have initiated have either failed or regressed with time. The change that God has initiated through my faith and relationship with Him have stuck. And they weren't even intentional!

Imagine what I can do with being intentional in following heart-level changes that He initiates!!

God leads this process. He drives the Transformation Train. I have to surrender myself to Him. I have to let go and let Him do His work in me.

Retreat!

It's always fun to get away from reality for a little while. Particularly when that reality is filled with being a busy CEO, COO, and CFO. So, I was very excited to have a chance to get away from all the every day trials and drama. Even if it was for just a brief time.

I have a mixed history with retreats. Back in college, when my campus ministry would have our Fall Retreat, I often did anything but relax or take it easy. I would often stay up all night long. Literally, would never even make it to my cabin. I was too busy playing games with friends, enjoying the stars, bonding, chatting, and goofing around. Or on our Spring Retreat, I would spend more time shopping and sleeping than attending sessions and enriching my spiritual life.

Obviously, the older me has learned how I squandered those opportunities for renewal and refocus. And although I always try to bond and enjoy some fun, I try to be a little more balanced and I always try to enhance and improve myself. How can you not embrace some time here?

I challenged myself to go outside of my comfort zone. I took an art class. I haven't painted since middle school art, but I enjoyed myself and didn't hate the finished product.

I allowed myself a little adventure. I went down a zip-line for the first time ever. And the second. And the third. Check one of the bucket list with that!

Most importantly, I embraced the spiritual challenge of our guest speaker. Our topic for the weekend was to think of one word.

Well, that doesn't sound too hard Red Bird. One word? You've just come up with a hundred. What's the problem?

This one word isn't just any old word. It has meaning. It has purpose. It has intent. It has power.

Still not sure I'm following you Red Bird.

Instead of resolving to change forty-five aspects of our lives with New Years' Resolutions and the like, we're joining the My One Word movement. We are selecting a solitary word to use as our focus for the year. As an area in which we will grow and change and transform. It is a vehicle for us to ride in with God for our year. It is a lens for which to view our triumphs and tragedies.

One. Single. Word.

A lot of words came to mind, for a lot of reasons. Here are a few on my short list and a brief description of why I felt led to consider them.

PEACE:  To be at peace with myself and who I am as a child of Christ.
GENTLENESS:  To soften my tone and demeanor, with others and myself, both verbally and physically.
YIELDING: Giving over power and control to Jesus, and to others, not always insisting that my way is best.
INTENTIONAL:  To be purposeful in word and deed, not to meander, wander or be scattered
ENGAGED:  To connect with my God, my family, and my friends and not retreating within myself.
COURAGEOUS:  To give my worry and fear to God and move in spite of myself.

In addition to the challenge of a single word, I'm trying to overcome my major journaling deficiency. Thus these Chronicles of the Red Bird's One Word.